Inherent Truths

I want to share some truth that I recently came to understand through the counsel of a wise friend. Whenever a habit whether it is reading books, watching movies, playing video games, sewing, exercising, reading the scriptures, serving others OR viewing pornography, consuming alcohol, gambling, etc. comes between you and your spouse your behaviour and habits need to change. Anyone who has dealt with the effects of addictive behavior in their family knows how strong the desire is to find an escape--your own way to deal with stress. My personal modes of dealing with stress are reading fiction, reading the scriptures and praying. To most people these are very appropriate outlets and I believe they are much of the time but, not when they take the place of confiding in and connecting with my spouse. When we use anything to escape reality instead of finding healthy ways to communicate and connect emotionally with our spouse (and children) we are not united and the chasm between us will only grow.

But that's not the way God intended families, especially spouses, to deal with life. Many couples suffer from loneliness due to disconnection. It's true that couples need to continue courtship (as old-fashioned as it sounds) in order to feel that longed for connection. I know it is difficult to want to truly put the needs of your spouse first when there are years of hurt feelings and possibly loss of trust from addictive behaviors, but it is the only path to healing for all involved. If you still have hope for healing the wounds in the relationship, then you have to be willing to honestly look at yourself and take responsibility for the habits and attitudes which are destructive.

If you have not already read the book The Peacegiver by James Ferrell go out and get it today. It will change your life.

God Bless!

Stand for Family