How much can you learn from the "fringe"?

You probably don't need to attend a conference to know that society is becoming more and more sex-obsessed, with the content of prime-time television shows now saturated and dripping with innuendo and blatant jokes that trivialize what used to be considered private and, to many people, sacred.
But these are the more benign forms of a huge problem — the fringes poking through the mainstream culture. What's hidden below the surface is far worse and far more prevalent than many people believe. You don't have to dig hard to find it. Often, you don't have to dig at all. It will reach up and confront you or, more likely, your children. (Deseret News April 23, 2009)

I want to focus on the idea of the fringe and how it is evidence of the deeper rooted issues. I have known many people, as I am sure so have many of you, that will joke about sexual things openly and insist that they're "just joking." Even as an older teenager I recognized that there was much more to their jokes than they claimed. And of course it wasn't too much longer before I discovered that there were long histories of pornographic addiction and disloyal behavior.
So, here is what I think... my dad was right. There is ALWAYS truth in jest, always. If suggestive or flat out crude joking is a customary practice that is only the "fringe" that you're seeing.

Sorry for the unexplaned absence

I am so sorry for the absence. My husband was involved in a car accident last spring and had to have brain surgery in June. We have spent the last few months in recovery and dealing with other pressing matters.

LDS Addiction Recovery Program

You can find local meeting information for the LDS Addiction Recovery Group Program when you visit www.providentliving.org then select the tab on the left that says "Social and Emotional Strength." You then select "Addiction Recovery Program" and read through the page until you find the link for the addiction recovery support groups. It is also a great idea to look into LDS Family Services for counseling.

OpenDNS.com

My brother just showed me a site called www.openDNS.com which is the best computer filter I have seen yet. Through this site you can manage any computer that uses your router or server (especially great for those of use who use a wireless router). The filter is programed into your router. It is pretty cool--check it out.

Stand For Family

Inherent Truths

I want to share some truth that I recently came to understand through the counsel of a wise friend. Whenever a habit whether it is reading books, watching movies, playing video games, sewing, exercising, reading the scriptures, serving others OR viewing pornography, consuming alcohol, gambling, etc. comes between you and your spouse your behaviour and habits need to change. Anyone who has dealt with the effects of addictive behavior in their family knows how strong the desire is to find an escape--your own way to deal with stress. My personal modes of dealing with stress are reading fiction, reading the scriptures and praying. To most people these are very appropriate outlets and I believe they are much of the time but, not when they take the place of confiding in and connecting with my spouse. When we use anything to escape reality instead of finding healthy ways to communicate and connect emotionally with our spouse (and children) we are not united and the chasm between us will only grow.

But that's not the way God intended families, especially spouses, to deal with life. Many couples suffer from loneliness due to disconnection. It's true that couples need to continue courtship (as old-fashioned as it sounds) in order to feel that longed for connection. I know it is difficult to want to truly put the needs of your spouse first when there are years of hurt feelings and possibly loss of trust from addictive behaviors, but it is the only path to healing for all involved. If you still have hope for healing the wounds in the relationship, then you have to be willing to honestly look at yourself and take responsibility for the habits and attitudes which are destructive.

If you have not already read the book The Peacegiver by James Ferrell go out and get it today. It will change your life.

God Bless!

Stand for Family

Conservative Grass Roots Movement

Thanks to Melody Pack for bringing eagleforum.org to my attention. I firmly believe that we need to protect our country from becoming a part of a socialist world order. Scary things are coming but, we need to be willing and ready to stand against the popular Obama agendas that have not been read by the general public.
I encourage everyone to become familiar with the "treaties" that Pres. Obama is pushing for endorsement from the senate. You will find information about these treaties on eagleforum.org. There are many organizations working to demoralize and deconstruct the family unit and create a society where parents have little rights in raising their own children.

The UPSIDE

Alright, on the upside there are (believe it or not) many marriages and families that have worked through difficult addictions--alcohol, illegal stimulants, pornography/masturbation, adultery and what not--and they end up stronger. There is hope...if you have faith in God and our Savior. AND if you seek professional counseling from someone who has faith in God. AND if you change your harmful attitudes and behaviors that may unwittingly add to the problem.

It's interesting how often we allow ourselves to leave the realization of our own happiness (not pleasure) and joy in the hands of someone else or we wait until a certain event or achievement occurs. Having Hope is actually a commandment, having charity (the pure love of Christ) is essential to the success and wellness of ALL our relationships and can only be acquired as a gift from God through much heartfelt prayer, and being full of faith is akin (I believe) to having the courage to talk the talk and walk the walk.

So, let's pray with all our hearts for HOPE, FAITH and CHARITY. Ask Heavenly Father to teach you how to have those attributes in your life. He will give you the experiences you need to develop these most important traits--believe me, Our Savior is absolutely anxious for the success of our families.

Prostitution Rings Busted in St.George and Lindon

Can you believe it? Two prostitution rings were recently reported as being busted in Utah. The one in Lindon was a family running a "massage parlor." Some guy went in for a massage and was offered other services, he reported it to the police and they sent in undercover officers to confirm. The operation went on for the last 10 years. They kept meticulous records of their clients, some of which were a Judge and school administrator.
Apparently, many businesses like this use the cover of a massage parlor or a spa. I am slightly mollified knowing that the Lindon Police will be pressing charges to all of their several hundred patrons.
The St.George ring was run by two guys from Las Vegas, who had come up to find "workers" inorder to open up the southern Utah area.

Aberchrombie Makes a profit from selling Porn!

Have you ever heard of a major clothing store line selling pornography? Well, apparently Aberchrombie does. Supposedly, in Utah their stores are supposed to keep the explicit magazines behind the counter but, that only developed recently. They were keeping pornographic material on their counter tops in the men's (adolescent boys) department. They also sell it in their catalogs.
I would encourage anyone who has shopped at Aberchrombie in the past to keep it that way...in the past.

Check out this link. Very informative and helpful for individuals and families affected by addictions to pornography.
http://www.ldschurchnews.com/articles/50527/Seven-part-anti-pornography-series.html

Craigslist Explicit Services

Most of us are aware that Prostitution is illegal in the state of Utah. So, how does Craigslist get away with providing an "erotic" services section for the Utah area. ANYONE can get into the erotic services section and not only access the sexual services for hire BUT also view pornographic images.
I AM APPALLED!!! And now I am on a mission to get this service banned for at least the state of Utah. If you have any helpful resources or information that will help this cause PLEASE post a comment.
Thanks!

Utah Coalition Against Pornography Conference

The Utah Coalition Against Pornography is having a conference this coming Saturday, April 25, 2008.
Govenor Huntsman will be there for the opening address and there will be several excellent classes to attend. It starts at 7:30 am and goes until about 1:30pm.

Two ways to safeguard our children.

1. Teach children how to regulate their emotions--boredom, anger, stress, loneliness, hunger. Children should lead busy lives, but also have sufficient time to relax and to meditate. Regular family recreation is vital as well as daily family prayer and scripture study.

2. Openness is key to overcoming addiction cycles in families--especially sexual addictions. We MUST have regular, age appropriate talks with our children about healthy sexuality.